Just imagine: delegates at the National Association of Spade Manufacturers’ annual conference two weeks ago decided that their product has a negative image and, after taking a vote, decided that spades should no longer be called spades.

There is, of course, no National Association of Spade Manufacturers. But there is a National Association of Pension Funds, it did have its annual conference two weeks ago, and it did have a straw poll that produced a 73.9% majority in favour of abolishing the word "pension".