Banks have been driven to a new low by the paucity of M&A deals. A boutique based in Germany last week contacted Financial News to seek advice on how to secure an M&A mandate from McDonald's Corporation for the disposal of its Aroma coffee shop chain after our report that the burger giant had failed to find an adviser willing to take on such a small job.

We are, of course, happy to help where possible. But firms should, in future, state what their minimum fee requirements are and attach their full credentials. They should also remember us when they attend their post-completion dinners and when they get their success fees.