No matter at what level, no matter what sport, the one thing that coaches and commentators love to hammer home is: ‘Keep it simple’. Whatever game Credit Suisse is playing, it is doing its best to confuse matters.

Yesterday, Credit Suisse boldly stated that it is now "one of the first global investment banks that is in alignment with the new regulatory reality". It published a 1,000-word statement listing a myriad of personnel, organisational and regional changes, and informed analysts about new 'synergies', 'cross-selling opportunities' and 'cost savings'.