Some 150 of Deutsche Bank's Scottish fund management clients attended the European equities group's 13th annual Burn's Night supper, held last week at the Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh. But perhaps the patriotic Scots would have been less enthusiastic about the event had they seen the memo circulated by their English host, Richard Sloss, to his colleagues, giving the agenda for the evening.

Amid traditional items such as recitals of the Burns poems Address to a Haggis and The Immortal Memory and the Toast to the Lassies, Sloss put in a few others, which are perhaps equally traditional at these events, but not generally acknowledged. These included Boo the National Anthem, Blame the English for Everything and Start Vomiting. Our favourite item on the list, however, was definitely Lift Up Kilts to Show Off Very Small Willies.