Mr M has been very busy of late. As if it wasn't enough to spend his time purveying wine to the world's most discerning imbibers, he has been – even by his standards – playing a great deal of golf.

Then, at the end of the cricket season, after a long hot summer when his bat and pads had stayed locked in his kit bag, he received one of the best job offers he has had for a long time. Would he care to put on his cricket whites and represent a reasonably serious team playing at the late John Paul Getty's ground at Wormsley?